So, what is a "real" solution to this bully problem? Well, it takes one word...COMMITMENT! I'll tell you how it's done in three steps...
First, "Accept your imperfections. You are not alone." Confession time...I am NOT perfect! I make mistakes on a daily basis and you do to. That's okay...you're human. I also know that there are parts of my physical appearance that are not "perfect". No one is! If you look deep enough, you will find a flaw with everyone. (If you disagree with me...come see me and we'll talk. I'll recant my statement if you can prove me wrong.) Step one, COMMIT to knowing you are worthwhile just the way you are! KNOW YOUR WORTH!
Second, "Refuse to wear the label that defines you according to your physical or social imperfection." Hey guys and gals, bullies give you labels and if you accept that label the bully wins and will continue their torment. So, don't let the bully win! Take off that "sticky label", refuse to let your imperfection define you, and let the things you're good at define who you are. Show the bullies that while they see your imperfection as a target, you know it's nothing you have control over and it's not going to affect the person that you are. Step two, COMMIT to not believing the labels! Yes, it is YOUR choice!
Third...THE MOST IMPORTANT...decide "that you are not going to put up with it anymore." How? COMMIT TO IT in three steps...hang in there, this is important...
"First, seek help." Find someone who cares and will listen, and don't expect that the first person will be the solution. You may have to approach several people before you find THE ONE, but don't give up. Frank Peretti didn't give up and he finally found a teacher that made all the difference...after several who didn't.
"Second, tell your story." Write it, record it, share it...get it off your chest so that you don't have to fight the battle yourself. Frank Peretti couldn't share his experience verbally with his teacher, so he wrote a letter.
"Third, confront the people who are hurting you." OK...OK...I know..."there is a right time and place for this." Let your trusted adult help you when the time is right. The bully needs to see you as a "real person" and not a target for abuse. The bully needs to know how his/her attacks have affected you.
Step three, COMMIT to not putting up with it. Who knows? Maybe you'll be THE ONE to save someone else from the torment of this bully.
"First, seek help." Find someone who cares and will listen, and don't expect that the first person will be the solution. You may have to approach several people before you find THE ONE, but don't give up. Frank Peretti didn't give up and he finally found a teacher that made all the difference...after several who didn't.
"Second, tell your story." Write it, record it, share it...get it off your chest so that you don't have to fight the battle yourself. Frank Peretti couldn't share his experience verbally with his teacher, so he wrote a letter.
"Third, confront the people who are hurting you." OK...OK...I know..."there is a right time and place for this." Let your trusted adult help you when the time is right. The bully needs to see you as a "real person" and not a target for abuse. The bully needs to know how his/her attacks have affected you.
Step three, COMMIT to not putting up with it. Who knows? Maybe you'll be THE ONE to save someone else from the torment of this bully.
Okay, that was a long one, but my hope is that students suffering, and those who are not, will COMMIT to changing lives for the better. My commitment to you...I will be that adult for you! If you don't know anyone else to talk to...or maybe you've tried and tried and no one seems to help...come find me. Let's make a difference!
QUESTION FOUR: What do you think? Will this change your life or the life of someone you know?
(Quotes taken from pages 28-30 in The Wounded Spirit Leader's Guide.)
QUESTION FOUR: What do you think? Will this change your life or the life of someone you know?
(Quotes taken from pages 28-30 in The Wounded Spirit Leader's Guide.)
11 comments:
anestly, i think it's time for a change,bullies, just stop, if someone hurt you, just go to officer soleme, because she'll help. the only reason your bullying is because your hurting inside,because some one let you down, or because someone bullied you,... just talk to someone, because it'll help!
to those of you that are recently being bullied, ask someone to help you, because once you let it all out, you'll feel a lot better!!! and just let your bully know it doesn't bother you, because letting it bother you, will satisfy your bully.
Please, don't let the next tear drop fall, because i know what it feels like, and it's not a great feeling!!! bullies, put your feet in someone elses shoes, and then yuo'll know how it feels, and i bet you wont like it at all!
Yes, I do think this will solve life problems in the future and stop bullies from all the horrible things they are doing.I absolutly think that all the things that bullies do are horrible and just rude. I don't like all that they do because they hurt more than just the people they are trying to bully. I believe if we do commit and not put up with the (CRAP!!!!) then we will finally (maybe) stomp out bullies for once and all
Exactly, why did someone have to come up with the horrible idea of bullying. It's just so sad to think,that they mostly don't care what other people feel inside. It's just the fact and horrible thoughts that are bringing tears to my eyes right this moment. Oh and yes officer Solomon I do think all those things will change my life and the life of someone else. The one thing I like is I'm helping a bully right now and she has not bullied someone in six weeks.
Well I still see this as a band aid fix, But a long term one. And I think gossip is a Big Problem Physical bullying is almost irrelevant at RSMS I never see it, A permanent fix must be made RSMS Child
Also I have figured out a way to win, Subconsioisly fight them, with your Body Language. It does work. RSMS Child
Unfortunately, bullying is such a big problem that we are not going to solve it overnight...but that's why it's gotten so big! People want overnight fixes and if there are none...well, people say it's just too hard and do nothing. I say we've got to come together and say it's not right. We have to be committed and persistent. We have to take a stand! The solution has to start somewhere and I say it starts now. Who's with me?
the bullies really need to stop. on the news last week i remeber that a kid committed sucicd becaus he didn't want to have to put up with it anymore. the bullies should not hold that power over people at all. it should not have to be pushed to those extreme limits.
I think it'll change anyone who reads this blog. Its very inspiring and resourceful.
Bullying never helps. It only makes things worse. I was always taught to help not hurt! I will spread the word about this site so everyone knows where to go in a case of need!
If we could just finally put an end to bulling then maybe we could knock out crime in at least 1 town. My brother once knew a girl, who's nickname was Peacock because she liked her hair in a Peacock's tail shape, well she was being bullied on line and off and about three or four years ago it finally ended because she hung her self. So to all those bullies that bullied her, I personaly want to say I hope your happy you were so selfish, rude, and inconsiderate. I hate the filling I get when I say something to someone and they are sad afterwards. It makes me feel like a bully myself and I hate it so I keep everything to myself. I just don't the feeling I get so I don't see how bullies like the rush and energy it gives them. I once bullied someone in third grade and now he is my nephew, so I just want to say Tristan I am so so very sorry I hate to think that that was me 4 years ago and I will never bully someone ever again.
fight the power
I say those steps will help, trust me. Always find an adult that will help, dont let the bullies get to you. There is no reason to hate yourself please dont let it get to you. Bulling is illigal so tell someone. NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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